


Dok's Ruin

by Cernunnos



Category: Hellsing
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-09
Updated: 2013-10-09
Packaged: 2017-12-28 22:36:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/997716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cernunnos/pseuds/Cernunnos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An AU inner monologue from Herr Doktor's perspective during the last moments of the Major's grand war on England. Contains mostly one-sided affection for the Major.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dok's Ruin

The time for great monuments is past and they lay in ruin, the forgotten anthem surviving only in snippets of memories of those old enough to remember our former glory. No longer do the trumpets sound; no longer do the angels' voices ring out bright and clear all for the sake of our great nation. No, now we are slaves to our former state, only able to look back at what we were and, like fumbling children, try to recreate the wonders our forefathers could not manage to save.   
  
Our armies, like the Tower of Babel, fell in a single day; our will, like the once beautiful Hanging Gardens, withered and shattered under the siege. There is nothing left of us. The wisdom of the elders has been drowned out by the cries of anguish after a slaughter and the rivers and fountains run thick with blood. Most of those left alive are struck by plague and famine and those lucky enough to survive without such live in the persistent terror that it will end, that they are merely teetering on the edge of ultimate destruction and that they too will finally fall into the abyss to join their brethren when the sun rises.   
  
I look upon the White Woman, the one we once held in such high favor until her dark predictions. In our haste to uphold a faltering illusion, we called for her sacrifice and, like barbarians, enshrined her body in a hope to ward off evil. The glass is broken and already she has begun to decay, much like all around us. I can't help but think of how beautiful she was, and even in that sweet repose, I long to hear her gentle voice even just once. If there were such a thing as an angel, then surely she would be a Seraph; but in our haste, in our wretched haste, we could not see that she bore the burden of a Valkyrie. The time for war is over...   
  


* * *

  
  
I am dying...bleeding...and all I can think about is whether or not he's alright. I should be dead by now; I've lost so much blood, but I've pumped my body so full of preservatives that I'll last until my heart stops or the steel beams holding that accursed Zepplin above me give way, whichever comes first. I wanted to die beside him...   
  
I remember the first day I met him...that cocky grin, those bright eyes like liquid pools of fire... He was perfection until I tainted him. He once told me that with each surgery I stripped just a little more of his soul away and perhaps it's true; perhaps it was my selfish vanity, my base and vile desires to preserve that lovely body, that caused him such turmoil towards the end. Who could blame me? Who could blame a man for wanting to cling to the last true friend he has?   
  
I remember a few rare instances when his smile was not unkind, when there was no hidden cruelty beneath that radiant grin. It killed me to think that he'd just become stealthier in hiding his loathing and madness; it killed us both when he could not say he loved me. Suddenly, I am overcome by guilt for all of the things I said back then.   
  
Suddenly, I hate myself for having ever told him how I felt. It brought him grief to not know what he wanted; I should have left it all alone and yet...I could not help myself. Such a shame...Such a pity that a man whose life has been dictated by self-control and order should be undone by a mere look, by a subtle glance of golden eyes.   
  
The Valkyrja...When will I be ferried away to his side in the walls of Valhalla? No one has come yet and already I feel most of my major organs shutting down. The beams above me groan under the tremendous weight of our ship and I wish that it would simply hurry up and fall; I grow tired of waiting. My eyes flicker closed and my thoughts race; images of him flickering through my mind in incoherent chaos.   
  
There's something new, not a memory and yet, I feel as though it's happened. He reaches out to touch me and God, I can feel it. My rasping voice forces out his name, and amidst the cough of blood and spittle, something above me gives and the world grows dark.


End file.
